Electric Blues

Absolutely agree. If any member of the Well Society happens to run a micro-brewery somewhere between here and Aberdeen, I'll put my name down for that trip now.

My new away top arrived this afternoon, just in time. Great looking piece of kit. Not that I'll actually get to a game with it until later in the year, but I'll be huddled by the crackly radiogram in it tomorrow night in the hope it might finally replace my lucky match day pants from 1991.

Hearts finish third, after a 2-2 draw. We avoid Hibs too , as they'll finish top after Ross County fail to beat Arbroath.

No need to worry about Hearts as it stands - they're losing 2-1 to Dunfermline and are currently lying third.

Have to confess, I've stood outside Fir Park in the pissing rain with my official autograph book, desperate for some vicarious reflected glory. Mind you, I was only six.

£1million and not a penny less!

Beautiful from Bowman - what a difference a little bit of confidence might make. Great ball from McHugh too.

Much better second half from both teams so far, us especially. Can't help feeling we'd have had another goal or two by now if a hungry Moult was out there.

Surely, if we absolutely must knock aimless long balls forward, we should at least try to get them within 10 yards of a despairing team mate?

Looked a pretty good reaction save after the defence went AWOL. He had no chance with the rebound for which - you guessed it - the defence was AWOL.

It's OK, I'm using someone else's laptop.

0-1 you mean - Cadden!

Try http://www.streamgaroo.com/tv-stream/united-kingdom/bt-sport-1-uk-live-stream

Technically, it's punctuation. This one's going to penalties.

Indeed - subject, of course, to said football being slightly less pish than last season, otherwise all this patter will seem like blue-remembered hills by comparisons.

We've talked about goals, and we've talked about hopes, but my dream would be that all the new signings gel immediately. We win our first five games and then the momentum and confidence carry us on a Leicester-like run to the top of the table. The culmination of this dream would see Celtic coming to Fir Park for the first post-split fixture, 14 points behind after we've pumped them three times already, and shitting themselves as total underdogs. Needless to say, we horse them 5-0 to take the title, and go on to lift the Cup a month later after beating Rangers by a similar margin. And then the little boy woke up...

I reckon they'll come on separately for maximum man-love.

Faddy to come on at 3-0, or 0-3, or 85 mins, whichever comes first.

And it's really appreciated, thanks!

Eats, shoots, and leaves.

On a plastic pitch, though? It's just not cricket.

There may be no legal, or even moral case to answer, but this still makes them cheating cunts in my book.

There's still a long, fraught week ahead, but for now I'm halfway to blootered already and on all too rare high. COYW.

Funnily enough, I'm the exact opposite. The all-too-rare wins are quite quickly forgotten, but my wife can tell up to three days later by my sour puss when we've suffered another defeat. I would no longer walk a million miles for one of our goals, but having said that, I'd sacrifice my first-born for a scrappy 1-0 win tonight.

According to the BBC feed they played "Kung Fu Fighting" over the tannoy at half time. Well played, Hamilton DJ, well played.