'Coz nae metter how ferr awa' ye roamIf ye want tae be happy in a million waysFur ra watchin' o ra fitba, ye cannae beat 'well, Motherwell.
(Apologies to Perry Como)
Aye, it's braw tae be hame efter the wee brek n' twa awa' gemmes. Micht get mysel' in a michty muckle tryin' tae fun ra groon, but.
Play akin tae ra Dundee Ken n' Furryboots City n' ah'd be expectin' ra liftin' o' mony glesses o' oor nation libation efterwards. Play akin tae yon shite agin Accies n' aw we kin expect is cauld, saft (vegan) haggis oan a piece, n' no e'en an endie slice.
Dae ah ken whurr Hell is? Aye, it's Fester Road.
Come oan ye 'well.