Motherwell F.c.: Scotland's Premier Buddhist Club

[Jay]

Today we wasted time at work discussing Scottish football and, more in particular, the sectarianism that consumes Celtic and Rangers, and to a lesser extent clubs like Hearts. We were discussing how the Old Firm cash in on the religious divide hugely and have a lot of their success and spending power due to the Catholic and Protestant nonsense.

 

So following on from that chat, I think it's time that we stopped criticising the Old Firm, and instead embraced this concept. If they can make money from religion, then why can't we? That's why I'd like to see the 'Well becoming Scotland's number one Buddhist football club.

 

Just think about it. Attendances would increase as local disenchanted bigots could latch onto another club based around religion, and merchandise sales would go through the roof as the club shop starts selling Tibet & Nepal flags, Buddha t-shirts, and CDs of traditional Buddhist music.

 

Already we would see revenue increases purely on the basis of the new found link with religion.

 

But not just that. On the park, the results would improve due to a much better atmosphere. For instance, randomly during the second half we could all just spontaneously start meditating. Imagine how unnverving it would be for opposition players if the entire Motherwell support just starting going "HMMMMMMMMM." As for our lads, well they would experience a whole new array of club songs from the stands.

 

Think about the possibilities. Such ditties as:

 

I've been a Buddhist Monk for many-a-year,

I've spent all my money on Buddhist Monk gear,

I follow five precepts and I think Buddha's great,

And if you kill me, I'll just reincarnate,

And it's MO-THER-WELL

MOTHERWELL F.C.

Are by far the greatest team

That Nirvana's ever seen.

 

or

 

He wore, He wore, A bright red Kathina robe,

A bright red Kathina robe in the merry month of May,

And when, I asked him why he wore a Kathina Robe,

He said it's for the 'Well and they're going to win the cup,

Win the cup, Win the cup,

He said it's for the 'Well and they're going to win the cup.

 

not to mention your standard efforts such as "The Dalai Lama, He's Our Friend", and "Four Noble Truths, There's Only Four Noble Truths", as well as the Tibetan national anthem with fives minutes to go in every game.

 

As financial problems continue to plague Scottish football, I think the only chance of survival and to potentially challenge the Old Firm dominance in years to come is for Leeann Dempster, John Boyle and the rest of those in charge at Fir Park to fully back this idea. I fully support this idea, and hope you all will too.

 

Motherwell F.C.: The third way in religious bigotry.

[Haggischomper]

[David]

If I was your boss, i'd not be too happy with your workrate

[Jay]

If I was your boss, i'd not be too happy with your workrate

 

My boss wasn't in today as her workrate is worse than mine.

[yosemite sam]

Does this mean we could sing " Guard old DEHLI's walls".

[Frazzie]

That is quite possibly the best post I've ever read on here.

 

[weeyin]

And when you ask for a hot dog at the kiosk you just say "Make me one with everything".

[Welldel]

We've got lots of Budha lookalikes already.

[fizoxy]

The only issue I have with this is that our relationship with referees would improve.

 

Also, scientology may work better. We all just need to pretend we have a secret, tell people they have to go to a game to find out the secret. They then find out said secret is a load of shite. We threaten their famililes. They tell their friend they have a secret.

[Rammer]

We already have the Motherwell Tibetan Buddhist Supporters Club in Lhasa.

 

[DelBoyd]

I saw this and thought we had signed Bob "Budha" Malcom again.......

[Stewie]

So who would be our bigot brothers then, Hamilton Nazis?

[Welldel]

The Hamilton Hindu's

[Gaag]

The Airdrie Atheists!

 

You've clearly put a lot of thought into this Jay

[john_M_F_C]

Surely as a buddist team we'd have no rivals, and would opperate as a peaceful club.

 

Zen.

[weeyin]

Indeed. And every time we scored the crowd would need to contemplate clapping with one hand.

[mikeecee]

The only issue I have with this is that our relationship with referees would improve.

 

Also, scientology may work better. We all just need to pretend we have a secret, tell people they have to go to a game to find out the secret. They then find out said secret is a load of shite. We threaten their famililes. They tell their friend they have a secret.

 

Is that the same secret as the Masons!!!!

[Welldel]

Is that the same secret as the Masons!!!!

 

 

Nobody knows the secret, that's why they call it a secret

[Albi]

Have one pint more than usual at lunchtime today mate?

[Well73]

10/10 Jay beltin idea

[Richie]

We could do it at games anyway... even just to make a mockery of the old firm's antics.

 

We could be Jewish and claim that everyone else is an anti-semite and that there is a national conspiracy against us.

[DEWELL]

Methinks some people have too much time on their hands and bored at work. . Be better pulling the heid aff it than posting nonsense!! .

[Juan Kerse]

Motherwell FC's official bigoted religious drink:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

'Mon the Buddhism!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Burn_Broomfield]

Surely its time for an Islamic extremist movement to take over the Club. Impose Sharia Law in and around Fir Park, declare Jihad on all rivals such as Airdrie, Celtic, Rangers and the SS will be no more, it would be known as the Motherwell Mujahideen. Random suicide bombing attacks will be carried out on away fans as well as road side bombs in Orbiston St to take out not only their busses, but also the Police. Hijacking and kidnapping of away teams will also become a regular event. The marketing of the club will dramatically improve in the Countries of our Muslim brothers.

 

[Rammer]

Surely its time for an Islamic extremist movement to take over the Club.

 

They already have mate, they're called the Stewards!